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I am a huge fan of Apple products. Over the past 5 years, my family has purchased 2 PowerBooks, an iMac G4, a 30GB iPod, 2 iPod shuffles, an iPod touch, and a 20″ Intel iMac, not to mention the countless accessories and gadgets to go with them. We’ve been owning Macs since the Apple IIGS.

I love the quality of Apple, and I intend to continue buying their products. However, their customer support has never been as exceptionally good as many people claim, and it frequently puts a thorn in my paw. The support quality at Apple isn’t inhibited by the staff (who are friendly) or the repair technicians (who get the job done). The main problem is that Apple won’t admit when they’ve made a mistake. Granted, Dell and HP are probably worse, but since when has Apple used their competitor’s inferiority as an excuse?

What really irks me is my customer support experience on my latest purchase, a 13″ MacBook. The product itself is great, and I don’t think that a single laptop on the market today can compete with it. It has a beautiful high-gloss screen, a subtly placed webcam, a clever remote control, and zillions of other nice little touches that only Apple could have thought of.

I want to protect my investment, so I fork over $249.00 in addition to the cost of the computer, so I can get an AppleCare Protection Plan. Like many people, I have most of my life on my laptop, so it’s worthwhile to follow the “better safe than sorry” plan. I walk out of the store with a smile on my face, a new MacBook, and several more Apple products – they must hire hypnotists as sales agents.

The first problem occurs a month after I get my computer, when I notice a small crack on the plastic front panel, to the right of the trackpad. Like any diligent Cult of Apple member, I know exactly where to go – the Genius Bar. I get in my car, laptop in hand, and drive 101 miles to the nearest Apple Store, in Albuquerque, NM. The savant behind the counter informs me that the problem was a manufacturing defect with the suppliers of the plastic for the early adopters. He says my computer will be shipped back to me the next day. That was October 9. Three or four days later, I get my computer back. But there’s one problem. The plastic is still cracked. I send it in again. This time, they actually fix it, and send it back in a reasonable amount of time.

For a few months, life is good. I have a working MacBook, Apple appears to have fixed the defect, and I have just entered Leopard heaven. However, after a while, a ghost visits me. This ghost is a hairline crack on the same place as before. It gradually becomes a splinter, and then a massive gash in the front of the case. That’s all right – I’m covered by AppleCare. I call my friendly Apple representative and schedule the repair. Unfortunately, I don’t have any time to send in my computer, because I work on it almost every day. In late January, Apple sends me a courtesy notice that my dispatch (that’s tech support lingo for a box with a shipping label on it) has been canceled. I call Apple back, and they are quick to renew my repair.

The Monday after, I decide that I have enough time to send my computer in for a few days. I pack up my laptop, drive to an “official” DHL drop box so my computer will get there faster, and send it off with a kiss and a prayer.

Today, I get a notice that my shipment was delayed because Apple is waiting on parts. I call AppleCare to find out how long this will take. The answer: 7-9 business days. Since today is Wednesday, that’s 2-3 weeks of lost time! When I ask to discuss other options, they tell me that I must talk to a “Tier 2 Specialist.” The lowly peon informs me that he will get one on the line, and that it should take about 5 minutes. Fifteen minutes later, I am talking to the grand master of tech support.

Our conversation is an adventure into the red tape that is Apple policy. The one option he mentions is arranging a replacement MacBook. Yes, he could authorize this, but my case is not eligible. No, Apple doesn’t let its customers know the qualifications for making a case eligible. No, Apple cannot refund me the cost of the computer. Yes, they could expedite, but that doesn’t matter because they are waiting for parts. No, he can’t authorize a policy override because that is controlled by Apple corporate. Yes, they used to have a process for loaning computers, but that cost too much money. Yes, the repairs have probably already cost Apple more than the price of the computer. No, he really can’t do anything, and feels deeply apologetic for it. Thank you, and have a nice day.

I intend to contact Apple corporate as soon as I have the time to wage a war. Until then, I am laptopless. Therefore, I ask you, my reader, a few questions. What should I have done? What can I do now? What have your experiences with Apple support been? Feel free to comment on this thread.

Edit: Followup (March 19, 2008)
After two more botched repairs, and a threat to revoke my original payment for the computer, I finally have a working machine back, safe and sound. I have decided that it is the incompetence of Apple’s employees that created the bulk of the problem, rather than their corporate policy. However, it still seems odd that they will stubbornly try to repair a machine over and over to fix the same problem, rather than simply replacing it.